Blog ni Inday!

Isang linggo bago ng laban nila Pacquiao at Hatton ay kinausap si Inday ng amo nya.

Amo: Inday, lapit na ang laban ni Pacquiao at alam ko naman na close kayo.

Inday: Uh-huh. What are you getting at?

Amo: Eh diba may libreng pay-per-view ka dyan sa TV mo sa loob? Tanong ko lang sana kung pwede kaming manood dyan. Mas maganda kasi manood sa 50″ Plasma TV mo kesa dito sa 40″ LCD sa sala. Tutal tuwing laban naman ni Pacquiao ay nakikinood kami sa TV mo eh.

Inday: Ahh.. well if you won’t be making a mess afterwards I suppose I could allow you.

Amo: Talaga? Pupunta rin pala iba kong kaopisina para makinood ok lang? Lilinisin na lang namin kwarto mo pagtapos. (langya, amo maglilinis ng kwarto ng katulong)

Inday: Very well but I have a request as well…

Amo: Sure! Ano yun?

Inday: 3 days from now I’ll be flying to Las Vegas. Manny gave me a plane ticket and a VIP seat for his match. He got me a room at Mandalay as well. Anyway, I’m just informing you that I’ll be gone for 5 days.

Blag!! Dumugo ang ilong ng amo at hinimatay.

Congrats on the win Manny!! - manager

Popularity: 81% [?]

Pinuntahan ni Inday ang malditang alaga na si Angelina sa kanyang kwarto para sabihang maligo na.

Pagbukas ng pinto ay nakita nyang si Angelina abalang naglalaro sa PC.

Inday: Angelina, can you cease for a while? It’s time for you to take a bath.

Hindi sya pinakinggan ni Angelina na patuloy pa rin sa pag-cocomputer.

Inday: I baked some chocolate cookies for you but you can only have it after you take a bath.

Angelina: Whatever yaya! (ngunit napaisip din sya) Ok wait, I will finish this round muna.

Ilang saglit ay tumayo si Angelina at kumuha na ng twalya at damit.

Inday: What are you up to anyway? (sabay lapit sa computer)

Angelina: Don’t touch that! I’m playing online Blackjack. I won $6 na. I will be back ok?

Lumabas ng kwarto si Angelina para maligo.

Dahil hindi pa nakakalaro si Inday ng online casino, sinubukan nyang laruin ang game ni Angelina.

Pagkatapos maligo ni Angelina ay naabutan nya si Inday na gumagamit ng computer.

Angelina: Yaya!!! What are you doing??! (sigaw ni Angelina)

Lumapit sya sa computer at napansing meron na syang $829.

Angelina: Wow yaya! What did you do?

Tuloy pa rin sa paglalaro si Inday habang inexplain ang kanyang ginawa.

Inday: It’s quite simple really iha. I first employed a multilevel Hi-Lo scheme with a side count add-on based on the Zen Count system. But of course, I was utilizing an overall true count methodology to take into account the multiple decks being used. Then I took it up a peg to the Uston Advanced Point Count method and paid particular attention to strategically optimizing my bets using the three-color chip scenario to disguise my wager.

Nawindang si Angelina sa explanation ni Inday.

Angelina: Wow yaya. You’re such a winner!

Napa-smile na lang si Inday.

(mukhang nagkakasundo na ang dalawa)

Popularity: 78% [?]

Ginagaya ni Junior si Cassy, ang anak na babae nila Carmina at Zoren.

Junior: Si Daddy, di alam mag ponytail…

Pinakita ang panget na pagka-ponytail ni Mr. Montemayor.

Junior: … di marunong magtahi…

Pinakita ni Junior ang kanyang tinagpi-tagping teddy bear.

Junior: Di marunong mag-garden.. (sigh)

Pinakitang nagupit ni Mr. Montemayor ang mga bulaklak sa garden ni misis.

Junior: Madaming di alam si Daddy…

Umentra si mister sa bahay na may dalang ice cream.

Mr. Montemayor: I’m home!!!

Junior: Pero alam nya pag-weekend…

Mr. Montemayor: Movieeee timeee!!!

Dali-daliang pumunta si misis at si Junior kay mister.

Kumatok si Mr. Montemayor sa pinto ng kwarto ni Inday.

Mr. Montemayor: Inday… panood naman kami dyan sa home entertainment mo. Movie time kasi namin eh. Diba dumating na rin yung Twilight DVD na in-order mo sa Amazon?

[Pag-di niyo na-gets, search Selecta Family Pack commercial in Youtube.
– manager]

Popularity: 82% [?]

Kumatok si Inday at pumasok sa kwarto ni Angelina upang sabihang maligo na ito.

Inday: Angelina, your mum said you should take a bath first before dinnertime.

Abalang abala si Angelina sa paglalaro ng kanyang PS2 at hindi pinansin si Inday.

Inday: Angeli…

Angelina: I heard you the first time yaya. I’m not bingi. But I’m still playing here pa. I suppose you don’t know what a PS2 is. Wala kasi ito sa bundok. (patuloy pa rin sa paglalaro).

Ang hindi alam ni Angelina ay may PS3 si Inday ngunit tumahimik na lang ito.

Inday: What are you playing anyway?

Angelina: Why? You don’t know it naman eh. I’m playing Tekken 5… Ok, let us play 1 game. If you beat me I will take a bath but if I win you leave me alone ok?

Kunwaring nag-iisip pa si Inday pero pumayag din ito. Di alam ni Angelina na expert si Inday sa Tekken at sya ang nagturo sa kanyang alaga na si Junior.

Inday: Ok it’s a deal!

Iniabot ni Angelina ang isang controller at nilagay na sa arcade mode.

Inday: So who is the character suitable for beginners here? (pakunwaring tanong ni Inday)

Inisip ni Angelina ang pinakamahirap na gamitin na character.

Angelina: Yaya choose Kuma the Panda. He’s the easiest!

Alam ni Inday na niloloko lang sya ni Angelina ngunit pinili niya pa rin si Kuma at kinuha ni Angelina si Nina.

Nagsimula na ang round 1.

Nagpapatama si Inday sa simula habang kumukuha ng tamang tyempo. Aliw na aliw si Angelina dahil pinaglalaruan lang niya si Inday. Nang nakakita ng pagkakataon si Inday…

Inday: (bulong sa sarili) Bear Headbutt… Trout Sweep… Bear Lariat… Dead Claw going back to Bear Headbutt… Bear Flail Kick followed by Demon Uppercut then Double Hammer while rising and finally finishing with Pancake Press.

Kuma Wins. Nawindang si Angelina sa nangyari.

Angelina: You’re such a chambalera yaya. I won’t forgive you na in the next round. You’re going to lose!

Round 2.

Naging agresibo na si Inday dahil malapit na rin maghapunan.

Inday: (bulong ulit sa sarili) Double claw… Big bear attack… Windmill Punch closing in for a Bear’s Bite… followed by G-clef Cannon then quickly with a Killing Uppercut with Grizzly Claw… finally finishing with an unblockable Fatal Wind in close range.

Kuma Wins.

Di makapaniwala si Angelina sa nagawa ni Inday. Dinabog ang hawak na controller at kumuha ng tuwalya at lumabas ng kwarto para maligo.

Inday: You’re such a loser Angelina. (sabi sa sarili)

Inday Wins!

Popularity: 83% [?]

“If I lose you because you don’t love me any more, nothing else would matter. Nothing ever. No power could heal the wound that you would leave in my life.”

“But to be suspected of hurting you because you thought I was cheating on you, it would be hot shrapnel in that wound, ever burning, forever lacerating.”

Text message ni Dodong kay Inday matapos makipag-break sa kanya dahil pinaghinilaang nambabae sya.

Na-touch si Inday nag ma-receive nya ang message.

“I’m sorry Dodong. Can we try again?” text-back ni Inday.

– Break muna sa mundo nila Angelina at Inday. - manager

Popularity: 100% [?]

Unang umaga ni Inday sa temporary nyang amo. Kailangan ay gisingin nya ng maaga si Angelina para pumasok sa eskwela.

Pinuntahan nya ang kanyang alaga sa kwarto.

Inday: Angelina honey, time to go to school.

Hindi umimik si Angelina. Nilapitan ni Inday at kinalabit.

Inday: C’mon dear. Your clothes are already prepared.

Angelina: NoOo!

Inday: But you have to go to school. Let’s go or you’ll miss the bus.

Angelina: Noo!! I don’t want to yaya! You’re such a loser!

Huminga ng malalim si Inday para kumalma.

Inday: Tell you what? I’ll bake you a batch of chewy white chocolate chip cookies when you get home.

Angelina: Really yaya?

Inday: Yes I promise, just get dressed ok?

Nagpabihis nga si Angelina. Ngunit matapos mabihisan ng maputing uniporme, bigla itong humiga sa sahig at gumulong gulong.

Nagulat si Inday sa ginawa ng bata at di napigilan ang sarili.

Inday: What are you doing Angelina?!? I just pressed those! Stop doing that this instant!

Nagpatuloy pa rin si Angelina na gumulong gulong sa sahig para madumihan at magusot ang kanyang uniporme.

Bumukas ang pinto at pumasok si misis. Biglang tumayo si Angelina at nag-behave.

Misis: Ano ba ito? Inday bibihisan mo lang ang anak ko ang tagal tagal pa.

Inday: But madam I…

Misis: Hay nako akala ko ba plinantsa mo yung uniporme ni Angelina! Anak halika na at naghihintay na ang school bus mo.

Di na pinasagot ni misis si Inday. Sumama si Angelina sa kanyang nanay palabas ng kwarto at iniwan si Inday.

Nakikita ang galit sa mga mata ni Inday. Bumilis ang tibok ng kanyang puso.

Inday: Oh you wanna play this game huh? You insolent brat! (sabi nya sa sarili)

Popularity: 85% [?]

Habang nagbrobrowse si Inday sa craigslist ay may nakita syang ad:

WANTED: Temporary Chambermaid

• Medium-sized house in a good neighborhood
• Owners usually out
• No pets
• One child (girl)

We need a housemaid-on-call who can temporary fill in for our regular one in case she’s unavailable. Hired personnel will only need to clean the house and watch over our daughter. Freelancers welcome to apply.

Please call 0919-xxxxxxx to schedule an interview.

Interesado si Inday na mag-freelance kaya’t tinawagan nya ito para magpa-schedule.

Pagdating sa bahay ng araw ng interview, ni-ring nya ang doorbell.

Yung bata ang nagbukas ng pinto.

Inday: Hello young lady, I’m here for an interview. What’s your name?

Angelina: Ewww. Who are you? Another loserrr yaya? Whatever?? (at pumasok ulit para tawagin ang kanyang nanay)

Nagulat si Inday sa narinig sa bata.

Popularity: 87% [?]

To all of you who patronized and purchased my book, my heart is pregnant with words of gratitude that is solely because of you. If you guys didn’t know, the book was launched last October but was made shipped to bookstores in November.

However, I could not seem to find any copy whenever I go to my favorite bookstores so I prolonged posting about it here in my blog. My publisher (PSICOM) made known to me that the first batch of prints have been sold out and they’re currently printing another run.

If you are looking for a copy, I would like to urge others to inspect bookstores near them to see if there’s a copy available and kindly comment it here.

Mrs. Montemayor: (sigaw galing sa kusina) Inday, nasa computer ka na naman? Yung isda masusunog na.

Inday: Do you mind flipping it over? I’ll be right there. (sigaw ni Inday pabalik)

Thank you once again!

Inday

Popularity: 87% [?]

“Para di malasin ang New Year, huwag mong isali sa handa ang bilog na prutas na may itim na buto tulad ng pakwan, chico, papaya at iba pa.”

“Huwag ka rin maghanda ng ice cream para di matunaw ang swerte at higit sa lahat huwag maghanda ng ulam na galing sa hayop na may apat na paa gaya ng baboy, baka, kambing at baka tumakbo ang swerte.”

“Huwag din maghanda ng isda at laman dagat at baka malunod ang swerte. Huwag din maghanda ng may pakpak tulad ng manok o pabo at baka lumipad ang swerte.”

“Huwag ka na kayang maghanda at matulog ka na lang! Happy New Year!”

- Text message ni Manang sa mga kaibigan nya bago sumapit ang bagong taon.

Popularity: 90% [?]

Pumasok sa bahay si Inday dala ang kanyang Macbook at tilang natuwa sa sarili. Nakita sya ni Mr. Montemayor na nanood ng DVD sa sala.

Mr.: Inday ano bang ginawa mo sa labas? Ba’t dala mo pa ang laptop mo?

Inday: Oh sir you’re gonna love it? Remember how the media always reminds us to avoid using firecrackers to celebrate the New Year but instead use traditional instruments to make noise like clappers, or those tow-row-tots?

Mr.: Ok…?

Inday: Well I hosed your remaining stash of firecrackers and threw it away.

Mr.: Anoo?!? Ba’t…? (namumutla na si sir)

Inday: Hold on, wait till you hear what I did. I just bought and installed 6 Bose Free Space 51 outdoor speakers in strategic areas in our yard. This will give us maximum coverage along with 360-degree sound dispersion for each unit to help preserve the depth and richness of audio despite any noise coming from our neighbors.

Inday: I connected the 6 speakers to a Denon 7.1 Channel THX Home Theater Receiver which I will operate with my Macbook where I have high-quality audio clips of all types of firecrackers. Crying Cow, Whistle Bomb, Judas’ Belt 100 pcs to 5000 pcs, Pla-pla… you name it I got it! Just select the type of firecracker you want and hear the sound emanate from our yard. Of course, we can control the volume to drown out any noise coming from our neighbors.

Medyo na-gets na ni sir kung anong sinasabi ni Inday. Tumutulo na ang laway niya at nakalimutan na ang pagtapon ni Inday ng paputok.

Mr.: Wow Inday magandang ideya yan!! Pwede mo ba akong pagamit nyan mamaya?

Inday: Of course!

Happy New Year Everyone! Hope you have a safe and enjoyable New Year’s Eve. Wag na tayong magsunog ng pera at umiwas na sa paputok.

– Manager

Popularity: 88% [?]